Spend a few years in any industry, and you’ll start to notice the same characters cropping up time and time again. Here’s five of the most common tradies you’ll no doubt have crossed paths with at some point along the way.
You know the drill. It’s early, you’ve just arrived on site, you’re trying to get your head straight with your first caffeine hit of the day…when The Gabber appears. With a slap of the shoulder, so begins the daily stream of dirty jokes, tall tales of (highly unbelievable) weekend exploits, and general ranting, yarning and codswalloping that goes on…and on…and on. Getting sh*t done isn’t top priority for this dude, although telling you about all the amazing sh*t they’ve ever done most definitely is.
Most Likely To: Talk their way out of a pile of rubble, and still come out on top.
The Downright Incompetent
As a professional tradesman, you’ve no doubt been irked by the countless cowboys who over promise and under deliver. Yes, they’re the cheapest, but there’s good reason for that – simply put, they don’t have the faintest idea what they’re doing. Unfortunately for the rest of us, The Downright Incompetent are not in short supply. Many are lacking in adequate licensing or insurance, and although the customer might think they’re making a saving, they’ll more often than not end up forking out double when they’re forced to call in us real experts to save the day.
Most Likely To: Take your money and run
You can’t help but feel sorry for this little guy, because hey, we’ve all been there. Fresh into their apprenticeship, The Greenhorn’s keen as mustard to make a good impression on ‘the boys’. Being sent to the storeroom for tartan paint and left-handed drills are all par for the course, and they’ll make more than their fair share of hilarious/really bloody stupid mistakes. Yes, they’ll have to cope with being the butt of all jokes for a while. But with a bit of luck you’ll have turned the boy into the man within a matter of months. It’s a rite of passage after all.
Most Likely To: Quote bad home reno shows verbatim in a bid to sound like they know what they’re talking about (they don’t)
We’ve either worked with one, or we’ve had to pick up the slack left behind by one; either way The Slacker is the tradie that gives the rest of us a bad name. Their timekeeping stinks, their craftsmanship is sloppy, and they’re about as useful as a box of glass nails. They approach every job with a malignant case of head scratching and a general ‘can’t-do’ attitude, although if and when they do manage to grace you with their presence on site, you’d be a fool to trust them with much more than a bucket and spade.
Most Likely To: Be on a smoko. Again.
It’s what we all aspire to be; the tradie that quotes properly, follows up, gets the work done on time and does a bloody good job of it. Granted, it’s not always easy, and more often than not there’ll be an obstacle or two in the way.
But it’s the way the challenges are handled that separates the air from the plaster. Keeping time, taking pride in your tools and your work, and, well, putting in the graft are all factors. There’s also a lot to be said about surrounding yourself with likeminded tradesman. After all, grafter is as grafter does.
Most Likely To: Never find themselves out of work
Are there any we missed? Let us know below!